i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
