You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
false alarm, still single
Randomize
