What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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