Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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