you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
