Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
