Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
