ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
