I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
this will be a night to untag.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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