i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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