i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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