Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
