I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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