Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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