dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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