Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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