In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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