Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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