that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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