I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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