Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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