we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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