Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
