I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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