Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
