She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
nutella sex= disaster
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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