Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize