The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I faked an abortion last night.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
