soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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