I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
