I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
