I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
