So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
