I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
