how can u be prego again
Porn is love you can see.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Just high enough for therapy.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Randomize
