Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
