I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
