Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
It's blow job season.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
