Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
