for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
