eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
