I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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