went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
