i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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