were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
