need another drink. this is the easiest way
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
