My nipple is on Facebook.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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