no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
