Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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