I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
