if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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