lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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