i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
