At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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