I have demons in me.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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