I am spending my child support on dildos
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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