I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize
