Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
