I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize