make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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