May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
