The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
