hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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