my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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