what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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