Just cropdusted the office
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
